Happy New Year!
May this year be the death of me (and you!)
Now, before you start freaking out, wondering what brand of insanity I’m pedaling today, please give me a minute to explain myself.
You see, lately I’ve had the inexplicable feeling that I’ve got a little too much of me and my own selfish interests going on and not nearly enough of Jesus and His interests going on. In my defense, I’ve been busy closing out one chapter of my life and moving on with another one, one that I feel called by God to pursue, but at the same time I’m sort of caught up in all the earthly stuff that, while necessary, is simultaneously exhausting and annoying.
Tax paperwork and licensing regulations and copy machine paper jams, you know I’m talking about you.
In other words, I had started to fall into the trap that devil really loves to snare me in: getting me to think that somehow I’m the one in control here. I’m a lot like the disciple Peter in the fact that I can walk on water as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus; unfortunately for me, just like Peter, I have a hard time focusing and isn’t long before my eyes gravitate away from Him and towards the stacks of junk mail and umpteen million files that need to be reorganized like, yesterday.
With this in mind, the other day I was walking down the hallway of my home past my son’s bedroom my heart was feeling pretty heavy. My eyes, and my heart, were not where they needed to be and as a consequence, I was sinking, and sinking fast.
I paused outside of six year old Alex’s bedroom and heard him sweetly swinging from his fire truck bunk bed. He was lying on his back, arms tucked behind his head and black Converse covered feet crossed as he stretched out across his Mario Kart bedspread. His eyes were closed and earphones were in place as he listened to his iTouch.
“This is the death of me oh oh oh, the death of me oh oh oh,” Alex very clearly sang, “the death of me oh oh oh.”
These words coming from my six year old pretty much stopped me dead in my tracks. As a general rule, Alex only listens to for King & Country, and I knew for sure this wasn’t a for King & Country tune.
I briefly wondered “What kind of mother are you to let your six year old listen to a song like this?”
Then, Alex continued to sing, “But now that I’m free I finally see living’s worth dying for.” He continued, “Buried with you you’re making me new, the old me’s dead and gone. This is the death of me…”
With those words, I recognized the song Alex was singing as Royal Tailor’s ‘Death of Me’.
I smiled at Alex and continued to walk down the hallway into the living room as Alex’s little voice resonated with me on my way.
In the living room, I sat down on the couch and pulled open my laptop and did a quick search for the lyrics to ‘Death of Me’. The words I read really touched my heart in the place I was in.
(The following are the lyrics to ‘Death of Me’ by Royal Tailor. I omitted the chorus which is what Alex sang that is written above):
Lost, I was wandering around
Hoping I could find a place
I’d be more than just a face in the crowd
I heard one day You came
Turned the lost into the saved
Now You’re showing me the way
All along I’ve been believing I was living
But now that I’m free I finally see
Living’s worth dying for
Buried with You
You’re making me new
The old me’s dead and gone
Your words were just ink on a page
Always so hard to believe
Until You revealed to me that
Your love stepped into the world
Now my past has been erased
‘Cause You saved me with Your grace, Your grace
All along I’ve been believing I was living
No more holding on to all my secrets
No more living with these broken pieces
Now my life’s been changed
Today is a new day
And I’ll never be the same
No, no, no
I’m really thankful to Alex, and Royal Tailor, for reminding me in my heavy heartedness what is really true and important in this world.
I’m alive in Christ!
To all the copy paper jams, tax paperwork, and licensing regulators, and to the pain and mistakes of my past—I’m dead to you. You can’t touch me anymore, because I’m living for Christ.
May this be the death of me!
This year, I hope you’ll join me in bringing these words of Royal Tailor to life as you die to all of the pain and hurt that is inside of you and begin living for the man who died for you and for me.
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.