Wacky News Wednesday: Stumpy The Turtle Carjacked in Colorado

Missing:  Stumpy The Turtle

A car thief in Englewood, Colorado definitely got more than he bargained for early yesterday when he stole a running Chevy Suburban from a Wal-Mart parking lot.  You see, the reason the car was left running while the owner, Wildman Phil, went inside to grab some supplies is the occupants of the vehicle needed the heater running because they are cold-blooded.

Yes, you read that right.  The vehicle’s occupants included a menagerie of cold-blooded reptiles.  To be specific, we’re talking about a three-legged, 50 pound tortoise named ‘Stumpy’, a 13 foot long Burmese python, a rattlesnake, 5 non-poisonous snakes, three scorpions, five lizards, a gecko, and a tarantula.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say these creatures aren’t going to be very happy when they discover Wildman Phil’s no longer in the picture.

Adding to the fun of this story, at least in my mind, is the fact that Wildman Phil says the animals are kept in solid gray Rubbermaid tubs.  What this means is, the car thief isn’t going to know exactly what he’s gotten himself into until he pops the top off of one of those Rubbermaid tubs.

Am I bad person for laughing hysterically as I imagine the look of horror on the car thief’s face as the rattlesnake lunges out of the tub at him?

Probably; although, I will say if you’re dumb enough to steal a Suburban with logos on it that clearly indicate that it belongs to a man who exhibits exotic animals for a living, karma may end up not being on your side.

As for Wildman Phil, he says he could care less about any of the things in the car, or even the car itself.   He is first and foremost concerned with the well-being of the animals he has grown to know and love.  “They’re not just props, they’re live animals. They know me. I know them,” Wildman Phil said. “It’s pretty tough. I don’t care, keep the Suburban, keep the stuff in it. I just want to get the animals back and have them live through this.”

Englewood Police in Colorado say they are looking for a blue 1999 GMC Suburban with Arizona License Plate “TEDDIJO.” There are several logos on the back of the van indicating that the van belongs to Wildman Phil.  If you happen to see the vehicle, give the Englewood Police a call at 303-761-7410.